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It's Not Your Fault

5/5/2018

9 Comments

 
Picture
​A fly drops from the morning sky onto the mirror surface of a lake. Twitch, twitch, concentric ripples expand with each movement. She flips right, moves left, circles right, and dances left. A fish appears under the fly. He sucks water through torn lips. Each gulp brings the fly closer. He examines the fly only to swim past to deeper water. She wiggles and begins to lift from the pond. He returns, lingers, and swallows the fly. 

I jerk the taught line that connects the fly to my fly rod. A hook is buried in the body of the fly that penetrates the fish’s gullet.
 
1948
A dump truck, the color of green pond algae, misses his commercial destination and heads down a quiet residential street.  A week earlier, Dad taught me how to call my dog, Pepper to my side. Black and white he is, with a coat like the contents of mother’s salt and peppershakers that sit high above my reach on our kitchen table.  Pepper and I sit on the front porch of our home in the afternoon sun. Pepper’s head warms my hand.
 
“Let me carry Pepper down to the sidewalk so we can teach him how to come when you call,” dad says.
 
Dad gently lowers Pepper to the sidewalk. “Call him,” dad says.
 
“Pepper,” I say.
 
“Say Pepper come,” dad says.
 
“Pepper come,” I say.
 
“Louder,” dad says.
 
“Pepper come,” I shout. Pepper runs up the steps to his place beside me. I rub his ears. Pepper is a good dog.
 
Today, I see the green truck two blocks from our home. Pepper sniffs the neighbor’s lawn across the street. I want Pepper at my side, safe from harm.
 
“Pepper come,” I say. He turns, looks at me, and continues to investigate our neighbor’s bushes. I see the truck one block away.
 
“Pepper come,” I shout. He hesitates and slowly crosses the street.
 
“No Pepper, no, no, no” I yell.
 
The truck’s left front tire rises by an imperceptible amount. Brakes scream, the driver opens the truck’s door, and jumps down to the pavement.
 
He looks at me. “Gee kid, I didn’t see him. He ran right out in front of me. I couldn’t stop in time.”
 
Dad runs to Pepper.  He tears off his suit coat jacket and carries my doggie up the steps to my side.  I stare at the bundle through a river of tears.
 
“It’s not your fault,” dad says. 

If this essay is meaningful, please like or tweet below or leave a comment. Thank you for your interest and possible action you may take.
 
Richard Wilberg, MS, PLCC, ACC 
Coach for Personal Fulfillment and Career Success
​
9 Comments
Linda Brathwaite
5/7/2018 09:07:57 pm

Not every situation is always under our control and if by chance it is, it’s the choice made that makes a difference. This thought is so appropriate personally, professionally and even politically. Thanks for your thought provocative blogs. They awake the brain to think bigger.

Reply
Richard
5/9/2018 09:50:27 am

Linda, When I write for myself (my personal story), and I touch my reader's personal experiences, such as you, I hit the jackpot. Thanks for your reflection!

Reply
Mary Hall
5/18/2018 07:21:16 pm

Not many things are sadder then when a boy loses a dog. Great writing Richard. I really felt your pain in this story.

Reply
Richard
5/19/2018 09:37:34 am

Thanks Mary, Thanks for the reminder that when we write from the heart we connect on a deep level with our readers!

Reply
Wayne Brabender
5/23/2018 06:57:29 am

Richard . . . your Pepper story sure says a lot about your father, his empathy, his patience, his love. If all kids were so blessed.

Reply
Richard Wilberg
5/23/2018 11:10:00 am

Wayne,
Thanks for your reflection. I didn't see his empathy while growing up. Other characteristics, yes. Only recently do I see empathy around me, my father included.

Reply
Lori Olson
4/3/2019 09:09:59 am

I also was lucky to have a Father who shared his love of animals with his children. What a beautiful lesson you learned from him in a sad situation. I feel you can learn a lot about a person in the way they treat animals. This was quite emotional for me to read, but very beautiful.

Reply
Richard
4/4/2019 04:51:27 pm

Lori,
Thank you. I'm touched by how this essay moved you. This is one of my favorites. Yes, a lesson for all of us which I remember to this day. I felt so bad about Pepper and I knew he came to my call so I felt responsible.And, Dad was perfect when he said, "It's not your fault." I remember his words like yesterday.

Reply
Richard
4/4/2019 04:55:49 pm

Lori,
Thank you. I'm touched by how this essay moved you. This is one of my favorites. Yes, a lesson for all of us which I remember to this day. I felt so bad about Pepper and I knew he came to my call so I felt responsible.And, Dad was perfect when he said, "It's not your fault." I remember his words like yesterday.

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    I write personal essays, creative non-fiction, flash fiction, and self-development articles from my home in  Madison, Wisconsin.

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